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13.12.2000, Guntur ashram:
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December to March - These four blissful months are virtually a festival for Nanna’s disciples in Guntur where he spends his time. I used to go to the ashram practically everyday. Inspite of seeing Nanna daily he appears anew each day. Whether he speaks or not, my heart is filled with divine power. Time would fly and four months would be over just like 4 minutes.
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Dec 13 ,2000: I went to the ashram at 8 a.m. By then Nanna was surrounded by 7-8 disciples. Even at the age of 100 years Nanna always said “I am hale and hearty”. Such a Nanna with everlasting energy was speaking about the secrets of the human life.
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When I went inside and wished “Radhe Radhe, Nanna”, he affectionately responded saying “Come. We are at the peak of discussion. You too have joined us”.
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‘What are you discussing about?’ I asked.
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“Life is full of ras. From birth till death, it is full of ras. You are under the impression that life ends with death. However, after death until the body is burnt to ashes and the human being is born again, it is considered as the same life. Therefore one should recognize the stream of ras flowing until that time. Everyone gives up after cremating the body. I did not give up. I realized that the house of birth is as interspersed with ras as the house of death.
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“Nanna! Man has an inherent fear about cremation ground. But you are describing it as full of Rasa. How is it possible?” I asked.
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“I have realized this with experience. In 1939, I was working in a training school in Srikakulam. One night the attendant brought the food carrier, placed it on the table and left. Instead of going towards the dining table to have dinner, I suddenly opened the door and involuntarily stepped out of the house. I did not even realize how far I walked. I did not even give a thought that the door was open or anyone could steal the silver plate. There was crinkling sound, dead bodies burning, heaps of ash all around. It was a cremation ground! All of a sudden, I got separated from my body. At that time, I initially felt fear. That is natural. I moved in that cremation ground not as Veerabhadra Rao but as somebody else.
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It was the state of ‘who am I?’ After sometime the fear disappeared. I was extremely happy in that cremation ground. Athma reveals itself unwanted and uninvited. There I got a yearning for the Divine. I was weeping for God. It is the same even now. Occasionally I am in this state of ‘weeping for God’. That was my state when Ramesh Baba came to see me.
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I took fistfuls of ash from that cremation ground. It is very blissful. There was no feeling of fear. Gradually I went into the depths of my inner self. A light sparked within me. I felt that both death and birth are sources of pleasure, filled with Ras. The pleasure which human being attains from the happy incidents in life, he attains the same pleasure at the time of death. I am speaking the truth, the bare truth. Oh! What a pleasure it was, wandering in the cremation ground. I could not leave it. It was so enchanting. The experience was blissful. If it is not so why does Lord Shiva always be there? I felt that this is the culmination of all pleasures. I realized a great secret of life that night!”
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I felt excited on hearing Nanna’s words. Did we ever hear of anyone experiencing such pleasure in a cremation ground? Can we even imagine so! This was his experience of being separated from himself in a state of supreme renunciation. I was indeed fortunate to hear this truth of life narrated by Nanna himself.
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| Salutations!O God!
“Prem bhav ki ujjwal tarang
Radha sakhi ki daya abhang
Radha sangat nitya milavat
Jagat ki sangat kshan mein nikalat”
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The waves of bhav of love are vibrant
Radha sakhi’s mercy is abundant
Sakhi arranges Radha’s presence every instant
Removes attachment with the world in a moment
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-Sri Radharasa Madhuri
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