" There is no need for any other proof to say that I am a Sakhi. I am indeed a Sakhi! Long before Purushottamdas ji proclaimed me as the Confidential Sakhi of Radhaji, Mother appeared in my meditation and asked me who I am! “If you promise not to tell anyone, I will tell you who I am” I replied. Mother laughed. When I said that “I am a 10-11 year old girl”, She disappeared. Sakhi does not have a physical body. She has only “Bhav deha” which is pink in colour. How far I attained that “Bhav deha” should be known to me, not to Mother. Hence Mother appeared before me and questioned me in order to test whether I would refer to the physical body or to “Bhav deha”. The sari worn by Mother and Her complexion were clearly visible. I was already a sakhi with bhav deha. Therefore I replied that I am a little girl. I am two-in-one. There is no one else in India like me "

" "

" Yes. He addressed me as Rasika Siromani. This is the highest state in the path of Rasa. Radha Sakhi is above gender. He realized this. That is why he referred to me as Rasika Siromani. Prior to Purushottamdasji, Mother personally conferred a title on me. Radhikamani, please tell what Mother told you. "

" Mother proved on yet another occasion that I am Her confidential Sakhi. Radhikamani, narrate what happened on the day when you and Anjani Amma went to Ravali "

" While Anjani amma was having the vision, others could smell sandal wood. Therefore, this is a true incident exhibited by Radhaji. Her witnessing me applying sandal wood paste to Mother’s hands is ‘prakatita’ (manifested) leela. There is another Leela to-, ‘aprakatita rasa leela’(un-manifested and unseen). In that, I apply sandalwood on Mother’s entire body. This is invisible. I am Mother’s intimate, confidential Sakhi. She does not permit everyone to do such a seva. She gave me that chance "

" What more do you want? This is more significant than whatever I witnessed! "

" Moreover this incident also shows my true form. You can write that Nanna is in this stature. Then no one would think that you are exaggerating. Normally, they will assume that you are saying things out of respect and affection. But it is not so. This is a direct leela (of Mother). If you write a book about me in future, you must include this incident. "

" The words spoken by Purushottamdasji, the vision seen by Anjani Amma, the song composed by her, everyone smelling the fragrance of sandal wood – all these points constitute one unit. Compile this as one chapter. Mother does not confer the same status on everyone. You can include another related incident. "

" A group of 25 people led by Navavrata Brahmachari came from Bengal and performed bhajan. One lady in the group suddenly became excited. She said ‘Some one who is serving Radha is present in this ashram. Buy a saree for her, preferably light green as liked by Mother and place it at her feet.’ This actually proves honoring Sakhi. "

" Include this also in the chapter. First, She asked me to apply perfume and second she asked me to decorate. It is my duty (as a sakhi) to decorate Mother. This can also be included in your book. How would it be? "

" I asked Mother that since all such indications are there, has the time come for me to go to Her. Mother replied ‘How can it be! There is so much work left to be done. There is plenty of time yet!’ I presume ‘Plenty’ could mean 5-6 years "

" Yes, that is also there, it will be done "

" It is not the definition of a Sakhi but the qualities of a Sakhi that matter! It is not theory that matters, the concept should emerge with experience. It should be developed on the basis of Bhav. The one who reads it should feel the Bhav. Radhaji is our ‘Swamini’ (Sovereign). Yet Mother lived as a Sakhi too! That life should be elaborated. Thousands of people come to Vrindavan on Krishnashtami day. In that crowd, one Bengali sage was sitting in a corner weeping. Everyone was only contemplating whether to go to the river or to the temple but none cared for the suffering of the other. At that time, a 7-8 year old girl approached him and enquired about his problem. He said ‘Not a single person among these thousands of people bothered about me. Who are you? You are such a little girl. Yet you are asking my problem. Who are you?‘ The little girl smiled. She became the Mother and relieved him from misery. This love shown by Mother towards the needy is the true nature of a Sakhi”, Nanna said deeply immersed in Sakhi bhav. "

" That is Sakhi bhav. Mother is always eager to bestow Her blessings on those who are suffering. That is Mother’s nature. That is also the nature of a Sakhi. This quality should be explained in detail. Only then it can be considered that you have written about the nature of a sakhi. Otherwise the book has no meaning. "

" A very important qualification of Mother is ‘Bhaktanugrahakatara’ (Always eager to bless the devotees). All sakhis should possess this quality. Mother is always said to be waiting and watching eagerly. As She was watching thus, She saw the sage. She lovingly asked about his problem and relieved him from suffering. Please keep this in mind. She does not attach importance to people bathing in rivers or praying in temples. In the book on Sakhi philosophy, temples are not important. What is important in Sakhi bhav is the eagerness to care for the devotees. That patient told me, ‘I am reminded of Radha Rani on seeing you. No one in this crowd bothered about me. You have given me a new life’. That is the nature of Radha Rani! It is also the nature of Sakhis. This quality should be described and substantiated with examples. Don’t concentrate on theory, explain the quality with examples. The entire book should be written in this way. People should think ‘Oh! This is a Sakhi! This is the quality of a Sakhi!‘ Don’t worry whether it is Rasa or Bhav. Their quality is more significant than definition. Being the Sovereign of the Universe is Radha Rani’s attribute of opulent power, But the quality of Sakhi in Mother is more prominent than this power. This attribute of Sakhi should be developed. The size of the book does not matter. The contents should directly ‘touch’ the reader "

" I discussed about 8-9 qualities of Sakhis. A good book can be written by developing on them. Every Sakhi possesses these qualities. Mother will choose only those who have these qualities. You should tell the readers – 'Develop these qualities. Only then will you gain eligibility because Mother will accept only such people.' Do not write about Bhav but write with Bhav. Note this subtle difference "

" You will get Mother’s grace only if you are like this. Mother’s grace will not come first. Only after I attained those qualities, Mother showered Her grace on me. The groom will not agree for the wedding unless the bride is good. She cannot qualify later, she must qualify first "

" Everyone will attain Sakhi Bhav. We are basically sakhis. But ‘maya’ (delusion) has clouded this fact. I will describe some qualities of a sakhi now: "

" (5) Gunarahitam (Freedom from gunas) A Sakhi does not have worldliness. I shall explain what the worldly attributes are. Anger and desire are the negative qualities which man must destroy. Mother has a perfect character. She will leave if the baser qualities are not destroyed. If you are not interested in any situation, just leave. Don’t argue. Argument is very bad. Mother will leave if there is an argument or if the atmosphere is not conducive. So these qualities have to be developed. That time will come. She is watching us. Anything made of these gunas (Modes) are undesirable. These three baser attachments are in these gunas and need to be destroyed 1. DhareshaNa – Attraction to form. Conjugal attraction between male and female and so forth. 2. DhaneshaNa – Attachment to wealth and fame 3. PuthreshaNa – Attachment to children and lineage When I began penance on Mother, I did not think of my wife and children. I named my last son as Chanti (smallest one). I told my wife that he was the last child and that our relationship ceases to exist since I was going in the path of Mother. I did not have even a penny with me. I was confident that Mother would give me whatever I needed. This room (pointing out the middle room where he lives) taught me a lesson. Who converted this one into AC room? Not me. I didn't even know. It is only Mother! We should learn a lot from this incident. Mother has profound insight. Anything that She speaks or does has 5-6 connotations. She asked me to apply oil to Her. So many implications! Only a sakhi can perform this duty. Did She ask me because I am a sakhi or because She wanted to make me a sakhi?” "

" “Yes. As soon as Mother asked me to apply oil, a sort of womanhood developed in me. This is the nature of sakhi bhav. I was happy that I should apply this to Mother. Mother’s love and philosophy is very sensitive.. You should have only one desire – desire for Mother. That is all. You should not have desire towards anything else. Don’t bother what others see or say about you. You want Mother. That’s all. Do you understand? I don’t want anything. I got everything even without asking. I did not ask for the velvet cloth on this sleeping chair. Someone arranged it. Mother takes care of our welfare so meticulously. Her very sight and love is so meticulous and caring! "

" The qualities of a sakhi should be attained. It is not only writing the book. You should possess the qualities first. Once you develop the qualities, the book will become natural. Everyone will read it like a text book and practice Sakhi bhav accordingly. Theory does not matter. Without practice how can one develop bhav even in the next birth? We are not sure of the kind of life that will follow and whether Mother will come then. That’s why She told us everything in advance! "

" (6) Detachment from all worldly pleasures : A Sakhi will be detached from all the worldly pleasures. This is very essential. (7) Abstaining from temples : Sakhi will not feel like going to temples, because of the feeling that Mother is near her. As Mother’s all-pervading feeling intensifies, she will not particularly feel like visiting temples "

" (8) Superimposition : This is very difficult to attain. I hugged the snake tightly but it did not do anything to me. In the state of superimposition of Radha bhav, the thought of snake should vanish and the thought of Mother should prevail. The form and nature of the object should not be visible. Mother will envelop the object. That state should be attained. It is very difficult. It is termed ‘bhavodaya’ (awakening of bhav). That means, even if you think of Mother’s name, you feel like weeping. ‘Chintana’ (contemplating on Mother) makes you weep. That is Bhavodaya. Oneness every where! None other than Mother! ‘Eekamevaa Dwitheeyam Brahma’ First and second is Brahma "

" You are all witnessing my physical form. You think that you know Nanna garu. But the true Nanna garu is within! He is in the subtle form as a beautiful girl. The girl has a name too! All my shackles of delusion have been shed. The form you are seeing is not mine. I am a human being committed to Radha dhyana (meditation on Radha). I have only one bond that is Radha. The little girl within me constantly says ‘Radhe Radhe’. My life is only that associated with Mother. She alone is functioning. She can remove all the karmic effects such as Agami (futuristic karma), Sanchitami (accumulated karma) and Prarabdha (karma due to current birth). I am Mother’s sakhi "

" Love should not be expressed in words; it becomes diluted. It should silently flow within. Mine is the love of Radha. Once a person is touched by this love, it remains permanently "

" The world of ras is a divine dham (abode) of love. It is beyond gender. Like Mother, sakhis are also beyond the three gunas (material modes). Hence there is not even an iota of desire in them. Since I am in sakhi bhav, I am sure that I will be elevated as Mother’s sakhi one day. Sakhi is not a ‘yesman’. During leelas, Mother holds the sakhi by her chin and coaxes and cajoles her. I have witnessed this scene. Radhaji surrounded me with Her aura and effulgence. Even when I am sleeping, this works powerfully. Mother is showering Her grace on all of you. This is only because you are associated with Radha sakhi. I will never leave the persons who come into my contact once! Mother granted me Divine sight. I have seen the ascent and descent of human beings. Whenever I switch to ‘Bhav Samadhi’, the power pertaining to divine aspects emanates. The vibrations will relieve the persons who have sought my shelter from their suffering, wherever they may be in the whole world. "

" After I go to Mother, I feel that She will grant me some extraordinary powers which are not possessed by other sakhis. Even after I go to Mother, I shall come down to the world below occasionally and speak about Mother. I am feeling the presence of Radhaji every moment. When you are in work, be in awareness. That pleases Mother very much. Talk less, think less – Mother likes this. You may not obtain Radha sakhi as your guru to speak like this in your subsequent lives. Mother will convert the worldly man with Her divine grace and make him move on the spiritual path. This happened in my case. While I was spending a comfortable life doing a government job She lovingly called me into Her service. That very moment when She called me, She blessed me too! Within a moment I felt utter renunciation. "

" My whole life was transformed. An all-pervading divine power is behind every incident in my life. If I had decided to earn from my government job, I would have amassed Rs 80 lakhs. But I would not have had Mother. By Her grace this has never been my nature since childhood. I do not want even the best thing unless it has a link with Mother. As I am saying this, Mother’s knees are touching my heart! Mother is within me watching and listening. This is possible only by incessant meditation. "

" Sri Vrindavan is the place associated with tenderness. Sri Radha is the delicate deity here. I respect all the traditions here. I want Radha of all traditions. I follow the Radha tradition. My Radhaji is the essence of all traditions. I live in that bhav all the time. Rasika Mahatmas never think of their own family; only Mother’s family. It is their inherent quality to be immersed in the service of Mother and Her family. The service activities will only keep on increasing, they never end "

" I have been looking at you since so many lives. Only now you have turned and looked at me "

" 55 years ago in Devi Gnana Prasunamba’s presence I accepted the penance of celibacy and became dedicated to the Supreme Goddess of the Universe (Radhaji). I am the Prasad of Radhika. I offered my life to the all-pervading Mother of the Universe "